Procrastinated

October 16, 2021 § Leave a comment

Two days on a trip. Just to see the sea or the ocean, and then come back to this dreadful place. La vie est ailleurs. I used to have a different train of thought when I was living in London, or Barcelona. It was a different time too, of course. I was more thinking about my “self”, as a person rather than as a social-racial-cultural representative. Product of history.

Rumination and Covid rules

October 13, 2021 § Leave a comment

If I leave and go to some new place, even only for a few days, I would have a revelation, an illumination. An idea. My life has become intensely (?) superficial and indifferent. The choices we make get an explanation out of the events happening in our existence, events which have produced reactions, experiences, ideas and preferences. But when events do not happen, when nothing happens? I cannot see everything that is to see. I cannot know everything. But I have to take a decision. Or do nothing…

Go back to the academic world

October 10, 2021 § Leave a comment

Go back to university? And get a social status. “L’éternelle étudiante”!

The positive part

October 7, 2021 § Leave a comment

I have been very free. Able to develop myself intellectually and physically. I own nothing to no one. I am zen. This harsh yet carefree lifestyle I’ve had, with no rent, no charge, that would be the super hard thing to give up, if I move anywhere else. Unless I find another “good deal”. La proprièté c’est le piège, pas le vol. Property is a trap, not a theft. Especially in a very ugly area and a rotten building surrounded with rotting old people. Anything I am doing here, I could do it somewhere else, some better place. Not for free though!

Tous les soirs

October 6, 2021 § Leave a comment

Je voudrais pouvoir écrire des choses sérieuses de façon sérieuse mais, ce soir, rien ne vient. Ni idée confuse à mettre au clair, ni pensée profonde ou capricieuse à exprimer, rien qui vaille la peine d’être raconté en détail non plus. Les événements récents de ma vie sont nombreux mais ne présentent guère d’intérêt. Ni impact ni résonance. Rien que de la vie, de la vie “en barre”. (draft from 2014)

Paris permanent danger

October 4, 2021 § Leave a comment

We spend so much attention, energy and time looking after our own security, out there on the streets, enjoying nothing at all. I’ve never experienced that in London, and I lived in London quite some years. Paris is the city of non-human(ist) life, the city of “minerally-modified” stones, dirty water and polluted trees. And scary aggressive rude people. I am beginning to feel ashamed of being from Paris all together!

Duras-like statement

September 30, 2021 § Leave a comment

La vie c’est ça : tuer l’autre. In French, it sounds very plain, but I like it that way. “This is life: to kill one other”. Yes, in English, it feels more dramatic, thriller-like. Not literature-like, Duras-like.

Thirty-one seasons of The Simpsons

September 27, 2021 § Leave a comment

It makes you wonder whether time really exists. Time passes? Thirty one years have passed? Bart should be in his late 40’s by now… It’s like when you are being forced into considering your pension scheme, when you are still young and healthy yet realistic. How can I be sure I’ll be living long enough to “enjoy retirement”?

I am not a consumer

September 24, 2021 § Leave a comment

Neither good or bad. You’d think capitalism would want everybody to be in the position of buying and paying for things and services but there is a lot of people who cannot participate to the economy, in any capacity. So then, the question: is capitalism a worthy system for just a few? Really? Capitalism could not care less whether its products are bought and consumed. The margin is too big now. The return in investment, so much for so little.

Choice and opportunities

September 21, 2021 § Leave a comment

There is nothing here that I may need. I explored all possible routes and strategies. It’s just not worth it . Let’s all be vegetables and plants, breathing in breathing out.